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April 1999 Journal

April 6th: Sorry its been so long since I've updated... last week I was in the hospital and had my gall bladder removed. I guess it was just a matter of time before my high fat diet caught up with me. I thought I would have seen a weight loss since I had no food or water for 4 days...only I.V. fluids. No such luck...I'm up 5 lbs. I hope it's just due to all the fluids that I'm retaining. I'd hate to think I starved in the hospital for 4 days only to see a gain.

April 9th: I've got 12 months to go until my sister's wedding when I'll be standing up as her maid of honor. I *KNOW* that if I don't get some of this weight off I'm going to be miserable. I won't want to be fitted for a dress, I won't want to pose for any pictures, and I won't want to see anyone. When I left Texas two and a half years ago I was HALF the weight that I am now. How disgusting. How can I face my friends and family again??? Please somehow let me get motivated to lose this weight again. I was so happy when I got down to 135 lbs three years ago. I felt healthy, I enjoyed exercising, and I could do things with my daughter. I want that back again.

***Update*** after writing the above journal entry I decided that its been enough whining and bitching about being fat...I need to just do something about it. I got out my old weight loss charts and updated them, and will start using Dietwatch again as well. I got my shoes on and my daughter hopped on her bike and I walked while she rode her bike. We went to the corner store and back...but it was a total of 1.5 miles. I'm going to try to walk like that every day, for 30 minutes. I can't say that it was at a rigorous pace, but since I've done no exercise for greater than 6 months...I figure any pace at all has got to be an improvement. Besides, I just had surgery last week, so I better not over do it and set me back further than I already am.

April 11th (272): Woooh hoooh! I don't really think the walking I've done has contributed to the numbers going down...I'm more apt to think I'm still losing all the IV fluids from the hospital last week. Oh well...I'll take any loss that I can get. Bought a pair of walking shoes yesterday, plan on getting lots of use out of them!

April 12th (272): I started reading Susan Powters book, "Stop The Insanity!" So far it seems really good...her style of writing and her whole sarchastic humorous outlook on weight loss and life in general really seem to match my own. I could identify with every thing she wrote in the first 3 chapters. She said something that caught my attention...IF YOUR WAITING FOR THE MOTIVATION FAIRY TO MAGICALLY COME DOWN AND GIVE YOU THE MOTIVATION YOU NEED FOR WEIGHT LOSS...FORGET IT, IT'S NOT GOING TO COME, SHE DOESN'T EXIST. That really hit hard for me because I've been saying over and over that I wish something would happen to motivate me to get this weight off...and it just hasn't happened. Maybe nothing is ever going to come motivate me, maybe I just need to DO it.

I went to the store today and stocked up on fresh fruits and veggies...artichokes, asparagus, green peppers, brussel sprouts, tomatoes, salad mix, broccoli, apples (two of every variety they had), oranges, and green grapes. I'm determined to start eating healthier. Every day I plan on having a different fresh vegetable for dinner. My whole family is going to eat healthier whether they like it or not!

April 14th: Still reading "Stop the Insanity". Found some interesting information on calculating fat percentages on food labels. I found out that even though labels say "75 % less fat" it doesn't mean the total fat content is reduced. Some of those "low fat" labels actually have 50-70% of their calories from FAT. Sheeeeeeze.

April 15th (271): Happy Income Tax Day! (Glad I got my taxes and refund done and spent last February so I don't have to stress about it today!) The scale seems to be heading downward a little bit. I can't say it has ANYTHING to do with my diet and exercise, because I really haven't been focusing on it much. My daughter had a school fund raiser selling Little Caesers Pizza kits...we have $71 worth of pizza kits in our refrigerator right now which is taking up half of the fridge space. We've been eating pizza and crazy bread every day for the last three days. I'm still reading that book by Susan Powter and it's very good...I'm know that while that pizza is still in the fridge it would be self defeating for me to try putting myself on anything too strict right now. I'm going back to work part time next week, so hopefully getting out of the house again will help keep the motivation up.

April 16th (273): Oooops, that pizza and crazy bread is catching up to me. On a positive note, however, I GOT OFFERED A FULL TIME JOB!!!!!!!! I start Monday working for a medical insurance billing company. The pay is really good and GREAT benefits. I really think getting out of the house every day will help in the weight loss fight. Sitting at home sleeping half the day away and then watching soaps the other half of the day just simply isn't helping matters. I'm sooooo excited about this new adventure!

April 17th: Steamed broccoli, artichokes, and salad for dinner tonite..it would have been a really healthy meal if I had left off the melted butter on the broccoli and artichokes, and left the dressing off the salad. Oh, well...baby steps. At least I'm eating more fresh veggies and fruits. When I start my job on Monday I'm going to bring fresh fruits and veggies and other low fat foods so I don't get into the bad habit of eating fast food for lunch. I'm going to see if there is a gym nearby so maybe I can start going there on my lunch hour and at least walk on the treadmill.

April 18th: Not too great of a job on eating well this weekend, but I went to the store today and stocked up on fruits and veggies and whole-grain, high fiber bagels which I'll take to work to snack on. I'm going to take my 1.5 liter water bottle to try to start drinking more water. Will update tomorrow and let ya'll know how the new job goes!

April 20th: Started my new job yesterday...I really like it so far. It's challenging using the skills that I just learned last semester in school. It's my first medical billing job, so things aren't exactly like they taught in the textbook. For example...in the textbook the doctor's notes are typed out nice and neat so you know exactly what procedures he did...trying to decipher the doctors' handwriting to know what they did...YIKES! But it's getting easier as the day goes on. My supervisor was amazed at how fast I caught on...today I posted my own batches with no supervision...was so excited when the batch totals actually MATCHED! Yay!!

April 24th: My new job is going really well... I like it alot. I just found out that my supervisor is leaving this Friday and I'll be completely on my own until they find a replacement. That should be real challenging. I've been taking healthy foods to work for breakfast, lunch, and snack...I need to get some exercise worked in somehow because the scale is still creeping up despite my better eating habits.

April 28th: Sorry for the lapse in updating...sheeeeeze, I forgot how little time there is left in the day trying to work full time and keep up a household. I like working though...I got my benefits package today and I was so amazed at the benefits this company offers...definately the best package I've ever seen. Diet-wise isnt going so hot...I've been trying to eat healthy at work, but I still managed to **GAIN** 5 lbs after drinking 1.5 quarts of water each day and eating breakfast, lunch, and healthy snacks. Ugh.


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