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Jabbers' August 2000 Journal

August 6th: Sorry for the delay in putting up my August journal...I went to Austin this weekend so we could celebrate her birthday with all the relatives down there and we just got back this afternoon. I finished my two months of training at Aetna, and tomorrow I start my first day on the floor as a processor. I'm so excited!!!

August 8th: Work is going very well.. it's a lot different from the training class though, "real claims" are a lot more challenging! I'm enjoying it; have been coming to work at 7am instead of 8am so it's been difficult getting used to getting up earlier. I went to the gym today and did 45 minutes on the treadmill and bicycle. My goal this week is to go to the gym 5 times.

August 21st: Well, I haven't made my gym quota for the last two weeks. I have been so lethargic lately, I don't know what's gotten into me. I think its just a combination of the heat and laziness. Really don't have much of an excuse. I've been kinda down lately because I've been on a 4 month plateau, haven't lost, haven't gained. I should be happy that I haven't gained, but when you only have a stomach capacity of about a cup, it sucks to not be able to eat much and still not lose weight. I haven't been making the best food choices though, and even though I can't eat the Quantity that I used to, I still need to practice eating better Quality choices. Even small amounts of sweets eaten over a large portion of the day can add up in calories. I've been really lax in updating my journal lately...I just don't have a lot to talk about, it seems like nothing is really happening these days.

August 27th: Next week I'm going to try Atkins to see if that can jumpstart my weight loss again. I'm so tired of just staying the same. I have a little over two months until the one year anniversary of my weight loss surgery. I'd really like to lose another 15 lbs in that time to make it an even 100 lbs lost. Two months is more than enough time to lose 15 lbs if I just put my mind to it. 15 lbs will also put me at below 200 for the first time in over 3 years. I can't tell you how wonderful it will feel to be out of the 200's.

August 28th: I started Atkins today; so far so good, but it's hard to get away from those carb cravings! I've been drinking lots of water, hopefully that will help. I have a bit of a problem that I want to share in my journal, maybe some of you can help me put things into perspective. I've gone out a few times with this guy that is really really nice. He's a professional, has his masters degree and is working on his PhD, we have a great time together, can really talk about things...but the problem is, he's very overweight. There is this part of me that is terrified that being with someone so overweight will pull me back up to the weight I used to be. I'm really struggling with this issue, because I'd be heartbroken if someone judged me on my weight, and I feel thats sort of what I'm doing with this guy. (He's not just slightly overweight, if I had to venture to guess his weight, I'd say probably 350 lbs) He doesn't seem to have a problem at all with his weight. He knows about my weight loss surgery, but I haven't made a point to really bring up the issue of weight loss with him. I know this is early in the relationship, so maybe I'm getting ahead of myself. I'm just not physically attracted to him, which I'm sure in time that could come...I don't plan to jump into anything, but I still can't help but think "what ifs" Any suggestions would be great, please email me.

jabbers@jabbers.net


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Weight Loss Photos: See my progress after surgery