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February 1999 Journal

Feb 6th (???): I am again, back to sticking my head in the sand and not weighing myself. I keep trying to blame it on being sick, but I just plain don't have the motivation anymore. I'm starting to get over being sick...I've been sick with bronchitis bordering on pneumonia since Christmas. I'm on my 2nd set of antibiotics because now that my lungs are clearing up, my ears are infected. Pat tried to quit smoking on New Years and he did great for a whole month, but has recently started smoking again. I think I'm going to challenge him to quit smoking and me start back on my weight loss program again. Now that the weather is warming up, maybe if we start walking outside it will help him not to smoke, and me not to eat so much.

February 16th (???): Hello everyone... I'm still here...sorry for not keeping up with this journaling lately. I have been sick, but seem to be on the mend now...spent Valentine's weekend in California for Pat's brother's wedding and just got back late last night. I haven't done ANYTHING all year towards my healthy lifestyle/weight loss. To be honest, I really haven't done anything since August. I know I've gained some...probably gained back almost everything I lost last year. I just can't seem to get motivated again. On a positive note, my relationship with Pat seems to be doing better than ever and we are really liking Arizona. This move was probably the best thing for us. I just wish I could get motivated to do something about this weight. I worked two days last week at Arizona State University Student Health Center drawing blood...I thought I was going to DIE from standing on my feet all day. I'm so out of shape. I know I'll feel better if I can get this weight off. Not to mention that summer time in the desert being 140 lbs overweight is bound to be miserable.

February 20th: Not much new to talk about...I really feel like a failure when it comes to this whole weight loss thing. I can't seem to motivate myself to do anything about it. It doesn't help that Pat and I have been going out and trying new restaurants since we've moved. We keep finding new places that we've never eaten at before...definately not helping. Luckily we're buying another car next weekend with income tax we'll have to watch our $$$ for a bit and will have to cut back on eating out. Maybe that will help. Stick with me folks, one of these days I intend to get back to a "WEIGHT LOSS JOURNAL" ;)

February 22nd: Ok...I started taking my prozac again. I had stopped taking it while I was sick with brochitis/pneumonia because I was taking a bunch of other medications. I'm hoping that maybe it will help me get some focus back. I've felt so blah motivation to do anything. Tomorrow morning I get back on the scale no matter what the consequences. I know the numbers are not going to be favorable, but buring my head in the sand for the last two months just doesn't work.

February 24th (268): Oh lordy...that's what I get for buring my head in the sand for so long...the last time I weighed myself and recorded it in my weight loss chart was December 2nd... 247 lbs. Here it is almost three months later and +21 lbs. Why is it so much easier to put this weight on than take it off????? Its constantly a struggle. I've seen it coming, just refused to do anything about it. A new month starts on Monday...I've really got to start doing something. My sister is getting married a year from April and has asked me to be her maid of honor. Thats 13 1/2 months. Even losing a conservative 10 lbs per month would put me close to my goal weight if I just DID it... now to just quit talking about it and doing it. Soooooooo... here goes. My goal for March is to do 10 minutes per day on the treadmill. Considering I've done 0 minutes of exercise per day for the last 6 months, this is a major improvement. My other goal is to cut out all sugar-sweetened tea (I've been drinking about half a gallon of tea each day...with about a cup of sugar per gallon) Time to get used to sweet-n-low again. I'll start out with those two goals for the month of March and see if I can add on after that.

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