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January 1999... Happy New Year!

January 1st (258): Yup...there it is. Finally stepped on the scale to find a 12 lb gain for December. Had an 8 lb gain in November for a whopping gain of 20 lbs over the holidays. *SIGH* Oh well...At least I can still show a loss of 27 lbs for 1998. I really would have liked to have been able to report a 46 lb loss for the year, which is where I was at in October. Oh well...I'm not going to harp on it, 1998 is over and done with and I can look at this weight loss journey with a fresh start. I'm going to start my weight loss chart all over for this year and track my weight loss like everything is all brand new. I hope everyone had a safe holiday and has lots of motivation to share, because I really could use some!!!

January 4th (???): Well, the New Years Resolutions seems to be starting off a little slow this year. I'm trying not to stress too much about it though. The important thing is to make small PERMANENT changes. This has to be a lifelong thing, not just a temporary weight loss thing. start out, I've been focusing on drinking more water. Not worried about the exercise or eating portion just yet. I'm trying to get in 32 oz of water each day. I know this doesn't sound like much...but I'm lucky to make myself drink ONE glass of water a day. I'm cutting back sodas to one can a day...this is going to help a lot considering I've been drinking almost a 6 pack of coke each day. Thats more than 1200 calories in soda ALONE!

January 6th (???): I have my first interview today since moving to Arizona. I'm a bit nervous; I can't help but wonder if my weight will have any factor if I get the job or not. Fatness is still the only acceptable form of discrimination when it comes to getting hired. I'm keeping a positive attitude though, and telling myself if I don't get the job its no big deal; there are tons of health care positions out here. Besides, this one is 30 miles away. Wish me luck!

January 10th (???): Will be weighing myself tomorrow and then it will be back to daily weigh ins...this burying my head in the sand is going to stop. I'm going back to daily charting and calculating weekly averages. The job interview I went on the 6th surprisingly went very well...they offered me a position the same day at the top of their advertised scale range. I turned the job down because it really was a long drive and I'd rather find something closer. It made me feel good to know they we're that anxious to hire me that they'd hire me on the spot. I had another interview on Friday for the Skin and Cancer Institute of Arizona and that interview went very well too. I interviewed with the doctor and my gut instinct is that he likes me. For the first time I feel like my weight is not hindering me. Maybe it never was before...except when *I* let it hinder me.

January 16th: Well the first half of the first month of 1999 is gone and I still havent done much to work towards being fit for the millenium. I have been reading "Make The Connection" again, if that counts for anything. I've been sick for the last two weeks...probably either strep throat or bronchitis, but I'm too poor to go to the doctor to see which one, so will have to let it run its course. My goal for this weekend is to sit down and make some mini goals to strive for the next few weeks. Write 'em all up, and then commit myself to doing them.

January 21st (260): I feel a little bit of my motivation coming back. I wish I could get rid of this darn flu bug cuz its just kicking my butt. The doctor prescribed a cough medicine with hydrocodone in it so it helps me sleep better. I've been coughing so bad that I keep myself up all night and even wake Pat up. My goal for the following week is to update my journal at least 5 times...hopefully every day. Drink 32 oz of water each day and walk for 15 minutes on the treadmill. I'm not going to focus so much on the eating aspect right now, because for me its more important that I get myself up and moving. I haven't exercised in so long that I've probably forgotten how to operate my treadmill.

January 26th: Well, that little bit of motivation I felt the last time I wrote seems to have disappeared again. I've felt so sick the last month...since Christmas I've been fighting this awful cough. I've been coughing so hard that it hurts my stomach. The only progress I've made is I switched from drinking regular Coke to Pepsi One... maybe not much progress, but I guess every little bit helps.

January 28th: Well, what I thought has been the flu for the last month turns out to be an upper respiratory infection and acute bronchitis. Great. The doctor said if it doesn't respond to the antibiotics within 7 days he'll admit me for chest x-rays because most likely it will be pneumonia. Ugh. I'm a bit irritated that the last doctor I saw two weeks ago brushed me off as just having "the flu" When I told the doctor today that I went to the doctor after having it for 3 weeks the first time and then waited another 2 weeks before going to him... he gave me a lecture. What else was I supposed to do? The first doctor said it was the flu so I thought there wasn't anything I could do but wait. Hopefully these 4 prescriptions he gave me will give me some relief. To top matters off...the doctors scale weighed me in at 264.... YIKES...YIKES...TRIPLE YIKES.

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